6 Microtechniques to help your child destress when emotions run high

There’s no doubt, children with ADHD have big emotions – intense, overexaggerated, long-lasting, frequent overwhelming emotions. Your child may very often be impatient, restless, agitated and quick to anger, and even more so when they’re in a stressful situation.

While it is tough for parents to deal with their child’s dysregulated emotions and constant meltdowns, it’s important for parents to understand that it’s also emotionally and physically draining to the child. Because of their ADHD, their emotional regulation is delayed, making it more difficult for them to calm down, self-soothe and get over grudges.

Here are a few microtechniques that help your child develop the ability to self soothe and diffuse the anxiety and stress in the heat of the moment:

1. Breathwork: Research is now discovering the importance of controlled breathing for bringing calmness and lowering anxiety. Here are four easy techniques for kids:
   • “Two inhales, followed by an extended exhale.” This is the physiological sigh: take one deep inhale, followed immediately by another sharp inhale, and a long, slow, sighing exhale. A new study from Stanford Medicine in the US suggests this style of controlled breathing can lower anxiety, improve mood, and even result in decreased rates of breathing at rest, which is a sign of overall body calmness. After just one or two of these sighing exercises, you may feel more relaxed, but to get the full effect, it’s best to repeat the sighing for five minutes. According to the researchers, the exhalation activates the parasympathetic nervous system (which regulates “rest and digest” functions) which then slows down your heart rate and has an overall soothing effect on the body.
   • Box breathing. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, breathe out for 4 and hold for 4.
   • Breathe in like you are smelling a bouquet of fresh flowers and release as if you are blowing out candles.
   • Imagine your breaths are like waves in the sea, ebbing and flowing.
2. Walk barefoot on grass. Whether your child is stressed, anxious or bouncing off the walls, get them grounded. Studies show that when the body is grounded, there’s a transfer of electrons from the Earth to the body, thereby stabilizing the electrical environment of all organs, tissues, and cells. This helps reduce stress and helps with getting better sleep.
3. Get your child moving. When your child needs to release all that pent-up energy, get them stretching, dancing, jumping, skipping, walking, shaking or running, anything that brings out the feel-good hormones and helps us to relax! Regular exercise is super beneficial for children with ADHD. [Click to read more].
4. Stimulate the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is directly linked to better emotional regulation. The vagal nerves – also known as the vagus nerve – contain 75% of your parasympathetic nervous system’s nerve fibers, which send information between the brain, heart, and digestive system. As the neuroscientist Ritamaria Laird, explains: “By stimulating your child’s vagus nerve, you can interrupt the fight, flight, freeze mode and send a signal to the brain that communicates “you are safe” rather than “you are in danger”.” Here are a few exercises to help develop vagal tone.
   • Humming, singing, and laughing. The vagus nerve runs along our throat and vocal cords, and it’s activated by humming, singing, or laughing.
   • Gargle water. This works like humming.
   • Chewing. Keep bubblegum on hand and let your child chew on it.
   • Cold exposure. Splash cold water on your child’s face to help them slow down.
5. A weighted blanket. For some ADHD households, the weighted blanket is a winner, especially for children who need sensory input to calm down or for those with anxiety.
6. Hugs. For kids who love hugs, there’s nothing more reassuring than a hug from a loved one.

Children with ADHD need more support from their parents to cope with their big emotions. You can help your child to regulate their emotions with various techniques, which will improve their well-being and relationships with others.

For more information on this topic, read How to cope with ADHD meltdowns & tantrums

References

1. Buzanko, C. (2023). The Key to ADHD Emotional Regulation? Cultivating Gratitude, Pride & Compassion. ADDitude [Online]. Accessed on 25 October 2023.
2. Cleveland Clinic. (2022). Vagus Nerve. Cleveland Clinic [Online]. Accessed on 25 October 2023.
3. Chevalier, G., Sinatra, S. T., Oschman, J. L., Sokal, K., & Sokal, P. (2012). Earthing: health implications of reconnecting the human body to the Earth’s surface electrons. Journal of environmental and public health, 2012, 291541.
4. Laird, R. (2022). Using Neuroscience to Help Calm Your Child. Individual & Family Connection [Online]. Accessed on 25 October 2023.
5. Moryoussef, K. (2023). “How I Calm Down My ADHD Brain: 14 Quick De-Stressors”. ADDitude [Online]. Accessed on 25 October 2023.
6. Schrodt, P. (2023). This 5-Minute Breathing Exercise Kills Anxiety Quicker Than Mindful Meditation. Accessed on 25 October 2023.
7. Williams, P. (n.d.). Calming Techniques for Kids (and Parents). Parenting ADHD and Autism [Online]. Accessed on 25 October 2023.